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Saturday, January 13th, 2007
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9:42 pm - son of a bitch.
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To the Aarons of the world:
COME HOME DAMNIT!!! NOW!!!! AHHHHHH! WHHHHHY!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
And to the Kyles:
COME HOME AlSO! But I'm not waiting to live with you, so its not as desperate. Which I guess is good considering you would take me less seriously if i cried desperatly to you all the time. But, you dont.
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, October 24th, 2006
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8:01 pm
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Wooo! I moved! Do you care? Doubt it. Are you reading this? Doubt it. Anyways, if you do care, You should reach me.
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, September 6th, 2006
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3:44 pm - Derpressing LJ entry #2
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I want to go back to school!
How is it fair that I don't get Gym and CAPP anymore? I want to do back to school shopping and buy notebooks and binders and fancy coloured pens and sticky notes and spacers and locker mirrors!
Do you think I can sue if I never got enough out of my highschool education? That would be fun. I guess the only reason I want to go back is because I like those extra-cirricular activities too darn much. haha.
How come the only way i can play sports or improv as an adult is to try out? How come i have to be good at what i like to do to continue doing it?
This sucks. I guess I'm going back to school.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Monday, July 31st, 2006
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12:36 am - Deep Digging
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Dig Deep.
I can't stop opening the past. Digging at an almost healed scab, ripping it open again to remember all the hurt.
The longer I am not there, the more I long for it. The security of not having to be this unsure adult stuck in a world of not knowing what comes next.
As I leave my teenage years behind me, (one more day left) I can't stop wishing they were here to stay.
I wish I was Thirteen, and dancing infront of videocamera's with ayla, and sunglasses.
I wish I was fourteen and Kat was still alive. And were listening to Serial Joe (oh that Serial Joe!)
I wish I was fifteen and me and Jamie had just stayed friends, like we were supposed to.
I wish I was sixteen and me and melanie were still listening to Marylin Manson, going to Value Village. Trying our hardest to never grow up.( And I also wish she could know that I don't care what she thinks of me, because she'll always be a good memory. And my deepest sympathy for the loss of one of the best big brothers in the world)
I wish I was Seventeen, and Derek and I were still in the hallway making ass Coffee. And Grandpa was still alive, and that Alex and I were still at grad, in eachothers arms, hardly able to imagine the journey we were about to embark on together.
I wish I was eighteen and working at Popeyes. It was the slackest year of my life. And Jesse was still alive enjoying his new found adulthood. It's not fair that he'll never experience this.
And tomorrow I will wish I was nineteen again. A treasured year, that I'll never forget, for being the year it all dawned on me. The break up, the Band, The peircings and the parties. That time Aaron lost his wallet in Naniamo on the long weekend and had to get it mailed to the Coquitlam RCMP... (ok, that was 3 months ago) This was the worst year of my life, but the most beneficial, I think, because it prepares me for tomorrow. It prepares me for this big step out of the security of a child and into the insecurity of an adult reality.
This is it kids, I'm finally gone. No more pirates, or mermaids, or tinkerbells.
I'm leaving Neverland, I guess you'd say, (but not in a weird Micheal Jackson way).
I guess its time to let go of my past, but I'll leave it right here, for all of you to read, and appreciate, and perhaps even understand. Maybe some of you can relate to this, I'm sure I'm not the only one trying to grow up and stay young at the same time.
Ashes to Ashes, dust to dust, child to adult.
Atleast I'll forever be, Nikki.
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defect_girl's journal